It has been somewhat of a difficult year. I have had two family members who I love dearly, pass on into eternity. I have watched friends struggle with losing loved ones. I know of people who have been diagnosed with terminal illness.
I have to say, I have cried a lot this year...by myself...with family members.
There have been many changes this year.
One thing that has not changed is that God remains faithful. He does not change. Often when people go through difficult times, they ask "Where is God and why is He doing this?"
I find it interesting that when times are good, it seems that God is not mentioned. When things go bad, God is blamed. All I know is that He hurts with us. He cries with us. God does not cause bad things.
I have found that God has been my comfort. When I have felt my heart breaking and it seems there is no one there, even though sometimes I cannot feel Him there, He is!
Even though it has been a difficult year, He is the reason I can have joy in my heart. When I look at the past year, even though many times were sad, I can smile because of the hope I have in Him. He said He would never leave me or forsake me. I BELIEVE THAT WITH ALL MY HEART!

I just got finished watering my flowers outside. I must admit that I am not a gardener nor do I have a green thumb - but - I do love to see flowers and green bushes in their splendor.... My step dad Frank, loved gardening! He even was a gardener for someone, at some point in his life. He always kept our flower beds immaculate and beautiful. After his health started to fail and his eyesight got worse, he could no longer work with his beloved flowers. So, then I would try my hand at gardening - shudder! Sure didn’t look like his work.

Last fall his sons gave him a butterfly bush. He was so excited about it and took extra time to tell me how to care for the little thing. It was a tiny little green thing when he got it. He had me cut the top off of a plastic vinegar bottle and cover it over to protect it for the winter, which I did.

In mid April, Frank became very ill. After a few weeks of severe pain, the doctors told us that he didn’t have long.

At the end of April, I went out and took the plastic off the little butterfly bush. It was a lovely healthy green and had grown an inch or two. A few weeks later, Frank asked me to go out again and check on the bush. I went and to my horror, all I saw was a few twigs where the bush had been. I showed my niece and she said that probably an animal had chewed it up ~ I cried. I couldn’t bear to tell Frankie that the bush was gone.

As the time ticked away, Frank got weaker and weaker. Many times I thought of that butterfly bush. I had told his sons about it with tears in my eyes and they tried to console me by saying that maybe it will come up next year.

We were at Frank’s bedside when he went to be with the Lord on May 18th. Frank had been a special part of my life for 27 years. He wasn’t just a step father. He was a close friend! I miss him so much! I’m so thankful for God’s strong arms of comfort!

The week after he passed away, I decided to go and look at the place where the butterfly bush was. To my amazement, the butterfly bush was not only there, but about three inches higher than when I first took the plastic off. I got my sister to verify that it was indeed the bush and not a weed. She confirmed that is was! Praise God for resurrection!

I just looked at it tonight and it’s as tall as me! I even saw a little white butterfly flitting around! God is so good!

I have no idea who will read this. Maybe you just came across my website by some fluke. Maybe you may have heard me sing or speak somewhere. May I just say to you - whatever you may be going through, Jesus is there to help you. Maybe you have lost a loved one like I did. Or maybe there is sickness in your family or you are just plain hurting for some reason. THERE IS HOPE!

"God is near to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." ...Psalm 34:18

Be encouraged!

Carol

I had sung in this unit many times before. Although it is labeled an Alzheimer day unit, the people are fun, and full of life. They have not let their disease pull them down. At least not from what I have seen.

Some of the workers watched from the back. Some intermingled with the residents, occasionally getting some of them up to dance.

Drinks were passed out to the residents, while they sat and listened to me sing. One lady, fell asleep with her glass in her hand and one of the workers went over and wiped up the liquid with a paper towel.

There was a man off to the side, sitting in a wheel chair, wearing a plaid shirt. He pulled out his harmonica and started blowing into it. I finished the song I was singing and asked him what key his harmonica was in. He was having trouble reading the letter but said it was in "A". Well I asked him to play a song and started to play along on my guitar. It really was in the key of C but hey, that was ok. He tried to play Red River Valley and then it turned into Silent Night. All through my performance I heard him playing softly in the background. That was fine by me.

I asked if there were any requests. A lady in a pink top with a heavy french accent and a wonderful sense of humour, asked me to sing O Canada but to sing it in French. I told her that wouldn’t happen. My poor knowledge of French would make in unintelligible. She laughed.

There was a little old man on the couch in between two ladies. He reminded me of the guy who played in My Favourite Martian. He first looked at me with a very puzzled expression and then started to clap his hands together. He even sang along a little bit on a few songs.

I started singing "I’ll Be With You In Apple Blossom Time" and his eyes seemed to light up. He stood to his feet, very unsure of his balance. He held his hands out in a dancing gesture. I went to him and took his hands and we danced. Well, we mostly stayed in one spot but we did dance. He sang along with me, word for word, his voice barely audible. We swayed in time to the music. Time stood still. He was so precious. It was like there was no one else in the room. I looked at this sweet little man and my heart just wanted to hug him.

What were his memories that were slipping away. Did that song remind him of his wife? Was he a war veteran who maybe heard that song on the short wave radio when he was fighting for our country? I really don’t know. I do know that I was blessed just watching him. I could tell he was blessed that I had centered him out and was paying attention to him.

Sometimes I get discouraged when I don’t get to do "bigger gigs" or travel around the world with my ministry. I have tried to be content in what God has given me. I must confess, sometimes I want more.

I do know this. I am blessed as God has allowed me in places where I know a lot of people maybe would not feel comfortable going. Today it was the Alzheimer unit. God’s ways are not always our ways. I am glad!

I am so glad He knows what He is doing!

As I ask God to help me to lay down my dreams, I am also asking Him to show me His dreams for me. I have been looking for His dreams to drop into my lap and one just did on this afternoon.

When I finished the song, I gave the man a kiss on the cheek and helped him sit down. That little man, who probably has such a hard time remembering the simple things, was used by God today.

It truly was, a lovely dance!

Carol